In the Long Run

The waiting is over. My son, the new dad-lawyer, received word that he passed the bar exam that he took last July. It’s been a long two and a half months in lawyer limbo, as he was hindered in his career aims without the all-important bar credential.

He will be sworn in as an official attorney in a couple of weeks. In his honor, I thought I would publish a few lawyer jokes that he can read in case he ever starts to take himself too seriously:

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.

It was so cold last winter that a lawyer was seen walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets.

Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?

They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

And my Key-Limey’s favorite lawyer joke:

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

All in fun, M. We know you are honest, charismatic, compassionate, and a man of integrity. You will be a great asset to the legal profession. Congratulations, we’re proud of you!